life teachings

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...the good thing about having my sessions in my local pub is that it’s the only opportunity I get to share a table with my medicine man, my MP and my church pastor(sshhh.. that’s a secret) and better still share the golden waters of Ruaraka.

After I ordered the down payment (2 beers) we were ready to start and here came his first question “if there was no death, how could the inheritor get thing???” must admit that hit me so hard I thought EABL had decided to increase the alcohol content in its waters without informing the swimmers. It also brought back the sad memories of ‘love’ now safely buried in my heart, only as a memory.

“This is lesson number 1” woo, I thought to my self, death before birth, unless it’s in Ken kbc philosophy of life (refer to the side bar of this page). He went on. “When I was coming to this watering hole (NI LAZIMA AFIKE) I had a flat tyre, what do think I did?” that was pretty simple. “Replaced the flat tyre with the spare and move on” I answered, by now just about to ask for refund coz love and tyres to me didn’t have any relationship (haiwess).

My pastor interrupted, trying to recite his last verses before drowning in the waters of EABL, which were now getting deeper as he poured his 5th bottle. “Even when Mosses could not get the children of Israel to Canaan, he had to choose someone”.

After a few minutes of silence I knew it was time to order for the second down payment, which I did. “Good” he went on. “It’s the same principle with women, whenever they are driving the vehicle called ‘love’ to destination ‘my man’ and they get a puncture ‘absence of a man’ they don’t stop”.

My my my, I had never looked at love from a drunkard point of view, but it was getting interesting. “Heartbroken women provide the best fishing grounds, because they are always desperate to fill the void left behind.”

As I ordered the third and final installment, he concluded, “since you missed on been the manufactures first choice tyre, just look out for a tyre burst and be the perfect spare part.” Had never thought of myself as a spare (most men have never) but it was a lesson learnt and may be, just may be, an option.

As we left, he challenged me to ponder over lesson number two; “the man to woman ratio of 7:1 only means that you must have at least 7 heart breaks before you find the true one” can’t wait……….